1. |
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Alone in my head while I aimlessly stare at a wall
Projections of dreams that have faded like floors in a mall
And all of the purpose that they used to bring
I am now a shadow cast down from that nothing
My god what a fling…
Alone in my head with the Idol I’ve made of myself
And a series of mirrors I’ve constructed to show nothing else
Albeit effective, I cannot compete
With all those reflections, their gorgeous deceit
And all of the progress they used to bring
I am now a shadow cast down from that nothing
I can’t help but feel I’ve lost myself
Turned into something else I thought I’d want
I can’t take feeling I’ve been erased
It’s hard to find that place when everything’s lost
Alone in my head while I aimlessly stare at a wall
Cracks in the plaster, paint fading, it’s starting to fall
And I feel no comfort, though I feel no pain
A bit disillusioned; uninspired
Waiting in absence, I glance towards a screen
And see only shadows cast down from their nothing
I can’t help but feel I’ve lost myself
Turned into something else I thought I’d want
I can’t take feeling I’ve been erased
It’s hard to find that place when everything’s lost
I’m born of the past and my blood/DNA
Reflects the volition of fine chevalier
Their scribbling of nations, ambition, social pentecost
But I’ve seen the statistics, I know where it goes
And I haven’t the heart left to watch it unfold
It’s hard to hear progress when years keep on screaming their cost
My god what we’ve lost…
My god what we’ve lost…
My god what we’ve lost…
My god what we’ve lost…
My god what we’ve…
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2. |
New Shade
05:59
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So I seem to feel I’m nothing?
That’s just some humdrum existential requiem
I’ve come to know this symptom
This new blue
Every day I feel its nagging
Like some timepiece clicking constant in my brain
In vain, I match its tempo
I sing its tune
But…
There’s a promise of progress
For an interest in excess
God knows I can’t keep that up
Who am I to own this suffering?
I’ve known pleasure fit for tyrants and/or kings
It sings to me ironic
If not misconstrued
I’ve only ever known one sorrow
Bounding always toward pleasure yet to come
To reach its destination:
Nothing New
But…
There’s a promise of progress
For an interest in excess
God knows I can’t keep that up
I’ve felt an enigma
In the measure of pleasure
Yeah what is pleasure but another hole to fill
I’ve seen this part. I’ve played this game
The swollen hearts. The casting blame
The shadow war That no one wins
The mirrors for our lesser sins
I’ve seen this one. I know its name
The vague relief. The promised tame
The cloud of dust. The great chagrin
The feeling that There’ll never be…
Enough!
And…
There’s a promise of progress
In(-)equity and life expectancy
But what is life these days but time to kill?
E.G. most days I spend just sitting around
Wondering, “what’s that looming overhead?”
Casting a new shade: 2015 Blue
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3. |
Something Else
07:00
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Alone in some compartment, gas combustion, steel walls
Breathing in the ashes from a window that won’t close
I traverse the frozen parkway while my fingers numb on
The steering wheel’s cold
Then I’m merging into traffic, capillary to the vein
Catching glimpses of the faces beyond the lines in different lanes
A thousand untold thoughts behind those tainted windowpanes
I’d like to know…
Or I don’t…
I won’t.
Still later I’ll go back
And see my friends: red, blue, and green
Yeah, I know they’re only shadows
But they must be cast from something
I catch glimpses of their heaven
A face in mirrors, a trip at sea
While plastic air secrets
Out of my small window A.C.
God, please don’t hate me
For the shadows that surround me
I am a child, a helpless fawn
I am a blind man waiting… waiting for the dawn
Locked up in some compartment, static comfort, plaster walls
Dreaming through some pictures, each of them a lie I’ve told
The moods all manufactured, red eyes corrected
Skin perfected color tone
Still I idolize the past (mourning that that never was)
Feeling ever distant from the present it’s become
Am I a pusher? No, a user? Am I distressed? In ecstasy?
I’d like to know…
Or I don’t…
I won’t.
God, please don’t hate me
For the shadows that surround me
I am a child a helpless pawn
I am a blind man waiting… waiting for…
…
Now it seems life is a dream
Manifesting all that I could want
But I have found that all is grey
When I want for nothing
Nothing wants for me
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4. |
DrownInword
05:59
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I’m watching you
Sweat as you move
Your mouth you say
You are so through
Feeding from hands
Holding onto
What fails to grow
What never grew
You nurse my ego
Like it’s your pet
To bathe and feed
I’m in your debt
Lucky me you
You don’t collect
You stare at me
Like I’m all you have left
Don’t hate me; its just who I am
Contemplate me; see the states I’m in
Excavate me; the idol golden hand
Separate me; sift out all the sand
And…
You’ll find a husk!
Filled up with loathing!
I’m watching you
Sweat as you move
Your mouth you say
You are so through
Writing these words
It’s all you do
Singing these songs
So much to prove
I see just what
You’re trying to do
I’ll call your bluff
With every move
Since when have mirrors
Been so see through
Since when have shadows
Staged a coup
Don’t hate me
Contemplate me
Excavate me
Separate me
And…
You’ll find a husk.
God, please don’t hate me for the shadows that surround me,
I know it’s hard feeling torn up all the time
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5. |
Epitaph & Empathy
06:59
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Alone and lost in M.O.A.
Realizing their floors actually don’t fade
Their pristine wax shimmers like light off a placid lake
And all the models I walk by
Wearing unworn clothes with cocaine eyes
Wide stares zippered glistening smiles
I just keep looking down
Anxious eye contact makes me sick
Gently hum, peruse the piles of plastic
What am I doing here
What am I looking to buy
Some enemy to define myself against
I can’t even hate this place
I can’t even hate this place
I know it’s hard
Feeling like
You’ve outlived yourself
I know it’s hard
Feeling so lost
All the time
Dwarfed by its cavernous halls
Drowned out by footsteps, aimless calls
Thin fluorescent light and fluoride air
I know it’s hard
Feeling like
You can’t trust yourself
I know it’s hard
Feeling anxious
All the time
I know it’s hard
Feeling like
You don’t own yourself
I know it’s hard
Feeling sold to
All the time
I know it’s hard
Feeling like
You’ve don’t know yourself
I know it’s hard
Feeling angry
All the time
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6. |
Cheval Glass
06:00
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My dreams: befogged
My lifeless slog
My hurried pace
My limp embrace
My hands, these rings
Like puppet strings
My Christian name
In vague reverence of an idol long collapsed upon itself
My hope: slipshod
My plastic god
My golden skin
The rot within
My state half dead
All figure heads
I’ll change my name
In vague defiance of some idol
Or has light collapsed on itself?
Are these shadows that shroud all my wealth?
Cheval Glass fogged up in their pall
It’s like staring at white plaster walls
I can’t see myself at all in these mirrors
My dreams…
My hope…
My hands…
My hands, these rings
Like puppet string
I’ve played this game
I know its name
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7. |
The 5th Gospel
09:00
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Together with an angel, lying quiet in the dark
Twice in every moment goes the beating of my heart
Blood echoes through my arms, bounding heavily and stark
And it feels like the end, like I’m falling apart
Still, I do not fear, I know it takes care of me
It takes care of me. It takes care of me
And every day I know,
While through the darkness I can see
Each hour’s approaching storm
Still, I do not fear I know it takes care of me.
So even when the night is followed closely by its dread
And crowds of aimless voices hail endless in my head
A thousand untold thoughts all waiting to be fed
Drowned out ever only by the freighter’s roaring tread
Still, I do not fear, I know it takes care of me
It takes care of me. It takes care of me
And every day I know,
While through the darkness I can see
Each hour’s approaching storm
Still, I do not fear I know it takes care of me.
And even when your future has lost its golden sheen
The past, once filled with wonder is now tearing at the seams
The present it’s become is all thin, lonely, and meek
And you feel you’ve lost yourself, but you don’t know where to seek
It takes care of me. It takes care of me
And every day I know,
While through the darkness I can see
Each hour’s approaching storm
Still, I do not fear I know it takes care of me.
It takes care of me
It takes care of me
Love takes care of me
Love excavates me
Love recreates me
Me…
In no small way
Every day
I will pray
God, do not fear
For love takes care of
Me
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David Lindstrom St Cloud, Minnesota
David Lindstrom, described as "captivating, haunting, abstract and perplexing" (Nanobot Rock), is an eclectic band from central Minnesota. Their music spans from intricately finger picked folk rock to dark ambient soundscapes resulting in songs that are "rhythmically complex and creatively engaging" (Divide and Conquer). ... more
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