Frozen in the Center of its Cold and Slowly Dying Love

by David Lindstrom

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"All those holes in your head that let you out"

In the opening seconds of his aptly titled, Frozen in the Center of its Cold and Slowly Dying Love, Lindstrom sings in search of boundaries, of definition, between the self and everything else . As the album progresses, he looks for similar lines between peace and pleasure, reality and fantasy, control and lack thereof. Themes that are painted over meticulously orchestrated folk textures that serve to ease the album's difficult underlying conclusion: That those holes really don't let you out.

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released 30 March 2015

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David Lindstrom St Cloud, Minnesota

David Lindstrom is an eclectic singer songwriter hailing from northern Minnesota. Described as "rhythmically complex as well as creatively engaging"(The Equal Ground), Lindstrom creates songs that oscillate between finger-picked intimacy and abrasive experimentalism resulting in "a stretching landscape filled with enough detail you can’t become bored" (Nanobot Rock Reviews). ... more

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Track Name: Eyes, Ears, Mouth, and Nose
all those holes in your head that let you out
all those limbs that branch out and walk around
all the air flowing through your teeth and mouth
blood burrows through your heart as it pounds and pounds

but how do you know where your body ends when you’re up to your neck in the softest sand
how do you know it’s not what you’ve conceived when your eyes are made to see the seeds your mind will plant to furnish your beliefs

does that seed in your head keep you awake
or your broken arms all that dead weight
today your skin is hot and it loves to shout
but it’s locked it will never let you out

the skin from my hands will collapse and feed the sand the golden earth the emerald grass will be my second birth
the blood from my veins will pour out and create stains across the ground bending air into a joyous sound

all our sand will separate and fill up all the empty space
all our blood will evaporate and mend all of the cracks we’ve made
Track Name: Old Gods of the Mortal Part
my ivory horn that never sleeps it guides my eyes through mud and weeds to waters deep for me to steep in sounding pleasures endlessly

but I keep tabs on myself while I want nothing much else

I’m not made of stone just skin and bone strung up to nerves I can’t control that move the earth for all I know that plant the seeds and make them grow

but I have to live with that self while I might want something else

though in this moment I’ve found peace
a different place a different pace to the way I breathe
in this moment I’ve found peace
a different pace a different place for my mind to be

how come every time I hold a mirror up to the face of reason it cramps up and folds to its own reflection is reason’s only function to replace the face of god is my mind wired to such dogmas as my nerves are to my mind there is so much sensory construction between subjects that I find it hard to believe in anything

so sure god is dead but there’s a new one in my head
and you cant escape what relies on lack of faith

am I drunk or is this peace/ is this peace or am I just asleep
Track Name: Inheritance of a Lesser Evil
the flag I’ve worn as clothes since birth
melts into my back as it burns
and it wont ash away no forever it stays
casting shadows that blanket the earth

and the words I’ve spit from my mouth since birth
shape all of the laws that I’ve learned
and the thoughts that they make are shallow and fake
and conceded and devoid of all worth

but its all the same to me

because I was born inside of an oil drum
and I’m frozen and numb and debased
and I can’t lift my arms to break free of the tar
and its poisonous dark black embrace

but it’s all the same to me
it’s just the price of being free
something I choose not to see

what do you want me to say
what do you want me to do for you
some things they don’t change
some stones they never move

what do you expect me to say
when most days I can barely even move
I can’t believe that I don’t change
I can’t believe I have so little to prove
I can’t believe that it’s all the same to me
Track Name: Postmodern Critical Impotence
Dan was my friend we’d smoke pot down in the dock’s parking lot
talking about sophomoric stuff escaping ourselves with mental fluff
what’s that you say Dan your dad got sick with stage four intrusive bladder cancer?
there’s a silent brake while we exhale it’s obvious we don’t know what to say

but as we lost ourselves in chemicals to cope
your dad was getting tested and finding new hope
in the teachings of Jesus his friends and the Church
things that you and I knew were naïve ways of feeling less hurt

then there was that day when all of your extended family came over and everyone was crying and praying when you went and sat down by your dad on the couch you reached out to touch his arm and realized he wasn’t just asleep

at the funeral I cracked jokes about god prayer and death notes
starring at his thin stiff raisin corpse looking like something not himself
oh my dear Dan why couldn’t I muster up any more hope for you that day
the oppressive pessimism I carried weighs on me to this day

then I lost my patience when you lost your cool
expelling shots in the kitchen with a face full of drool
then we moved apart and you lived in your car
since then I haven’t seen you in years
I hear you’re working at a gas station near here

so what’s the point of being right
my god this was someone’s life
what’s the point of finding truth
if it leaves you frozen isolated and aloof

Dan was my friend but now he is not
lately I’ve been thinking about that a lot
I’d like to think it was a righteous cause
another second gone a moment lost
an abstract of life’s entire plot
Track Name: In the Center...
I’m frozen in the center of
its cold and slowly dying love
with all I’ve ever wanted to be true
Track Name: A Nightly Reflection
have I lost it?/

fingers point through paragraphs
but pages stick and words collapse
while practicing my autograph
vanity’s indulgent task

steeping in an oil bath
I marinade in golden ash
with dry ice on the naked back
frozen smoke to wedge the cracks

fingers dipped in oil bath
pages stick to golden ash
dry ice for an autograph
frozen smoke indulged

steeping in these paragraphs
I marinade in words collapsed
it’s better for the naked back
if vanity should wedge the cracks

I had a dream where all my fingers fell off and my hands were worthless stumps then all of my blood spilt out of the wound and I was four times as sober as I’ve ever been
I saw that each man is a slave to his own sense of loneliness and that freedom from this context is both the carrot dangling in front of him and the blinders to his eyes as he follows trails of capital and romance towards deep seeded apathy

I can relate
I can relate to that
Track Name: North of Orr, Like Before
I was asleep and my skin it stuck to the sheets
it was ninety degrees and I was taking 2 am showers of sleet
my eyes couldn’t see and my lungs had no room to breathe
aren’t you tired too? will you not give relief?

I was bathing in the heat
of that July with no ac
and my hot skin could not breathe
and my mind could find no relief

I kept thinking peace will come
and admittedly I found some
the cool air of a morning sun
just enough to keep me undone

I never felt as high as I did in the water that night
the image made me cry heads floating on a reflection of the sky
I felt no weight no ties to the ground no restraints
I was fully immersed my skin melted into the earth

I was bathing in a sea
of the chemicals in me
is this what I should call peace?
transcendence beyond all belief
still it was hard to sleep or was it hard to keep myself awake?
I was under my sheets but I was exposed to the loss of memory
that now feels like a dream (the past relived in shades of grey)
the hunger remains so what’s the difference anyway

And I take this to mean
that I’m only a machine
I do only what I please
and my pleasure never stays

the point is that peace will come
and that will never be enough
Track Name: Melting Ice Towards Second Life
(instrumental)
Track Name: Communion for the Skeptic Heart
the light it came in droves to surround me
a shapeless golden hand now forming to
lift me out from my skin destroying
all that I have been or ever will be

my consciousness collapsed unto itself
my memories fell apart
now cleansed of my existence
my bitter human heart

I’ll fall if I must
beneath the settling dust